THEY CALL ME THE BANANA HAMMER

What can I say? Seriously, is there a limit as to how much vulgarity and stupidity I can spew? My name is Zach. I was once intelligent, but then I met the internet and it was a star-crossed-lover-kinda-shit-thing yo.

pandaspwnz:

farfrompaid:

You not finding me attractive is not going to stop me from being attractive.

I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU KEEP THIS MINDSET YOU WILL GET SOOO MUCH CONFIDENCE

(via eaglebeaver)

brimerica:

[sweats nervously] d-did somebody say…girls? [wipes forehead] wowie uh, well, I, uh…[fans self] whoa well yes I-I guess, uh..[tugs at shirt collar] I guess they’re, y’know…um[dumps a bucket of water on self] kinda pr-pretty, um..[crawls into a pool of cold water] pretty neat and um..[falls on face] really cute

(via leviathans-vessel)

mucker-fother:

guys I actually shed a tear

(Source: nepetaquest, via dick-biggles-mcgee)

kaonashizen:

bleu:

look , i literally can’t stress how cute this deleted parks and rec scene is and im about to lose my fucking shit.

Im in love with Chris Pratt

(Source: bleu, via mishahasthephonebox)

life goals:

independence
intelligence
financial stability
cute face
cute butt
a little scary

(Source: phosphorescentt, via cutiebum)

nedsseveredhead:

I feel so proud when friends tell me their parents like me. Like damn right they do, I am a delight.

(via eaglebeaver)

rabioheab:

it’s time for leo dicaprio to give up on his acting career and open a coffee shop called Leonardo DiCappuccino 

(via spookyrichhouse)