THEY CALL ME THE BANANA HAMMER

What can I say? Seriously, is there a limit as to how much vulgarity and stupidity I can spew? My name is Zach. I was once intelligent, but then I met the internet and it was a star-crossed-lover-kinda-shit-thing yo.

vvhitehouse:

aneastcoastbreeze:

vvhitehouse:

advantages to wearing oversized sweaters:

  • instant cute outfit with minimal effort
  • it enhances the coziness when u drink hot beverages
  • sweater paws are guaranteed to make u feel 43% more adorable
  • u can unbutton ur jeans and no one will know

disadvantages to wearing oversized sweaters:

Guys think they’re totally not cute lol

the day i dress for a man is the day they dress me in my coffin to see jesus

(via anything--but--average)

humansofnewyork:

"Do you remember the saddest moment of your life?""Probably sitting at the kitchen table with my dad, an hour after my mother died, realizing we had to figure out what we were going to do for lunch."

humansofnewyork:

"Do you remember the saddest moment of your life?"
"Probably sitting at the kitchen table with my dad, an hour after my mother died, realizing we had to figure out what we were going to do for lunch."

(via princesskathrynm)