THEY CALL ME THE BANANA HAMMER

What can I say? Seriously, is there a limit as to how much vulgarity and stupidity I can spew? My name is Zach. I was once intelligent, but then I met the internet and it was a star-crossed-lover-kinda-shit-thing yo.

theladychelsea:

honeyyvanille:

Sometimes you need to remind yourself that you were the one who carried you through the heartache. You are the one who sits with the cold body on the shower floor, and picks it up. You are the one who feeds it, who clothes it, who tucks it into bed, and you should be proud of that. Having the strength to take care of yourself when everyone around you is trying to bleed you dry, that is the strongest thing in the universe.

I absolutely needed to read that.

(Source: sarahaliceyoung, via somethingsaltysomethingsweet)

eriadn:

we have a sub in us history and he said “i have to take attendance, if i mispronounce your name it’s because i dont care”

(via were-telapathetic)

alegbra:

kazi-is-amazing:

Mr. Krabs displays his mastery of alchemy by transmuting eight Krabby Patties into a single pizza, such is the law of equivalent exchange.

since there’s no circle, does this mean mr. krabs attempted human transmutation
this would explain how he has a whale for a daughter

alegbra:

kazi-is-amazing:

Mr. Krabs displays his mastery of alchemy by transmuting eight Krabby Patties into a single pizza, such is the law of equivalent exchange.

since there’s no circle, does this mean mr. krabs attempted human transmutation

this would explain how he has a whale for a daughter

(via somethingsaltysomethingsweet)